He tilts his head to the side, watching her; listening. He hears it. More than just the upset of having a client relapse. There was something else in her tone. With a huff, he sits back and lets her finish. He doesn't say anything when she is done and sits herself back again. Hands fold into his lap. Eyes look down at them.
"Have I." - "I've." - "I disappoint you, Watson." He finally manages and looks toward her. "Like I disappointed Lestrade. Like I would disappoint Gregson; and I disappoint my Father. Do you know how many times I have actually seen my Father since boarding school?" His brows frown deeper. Here it comes, the crash. Where he can't hold anything in any longer. Where that desperate scramble for some feeling of hope takes over and he's gasping beneath the water. He might as well drown.
He seems to be speaking a little faster now. It's nerves, and it's all personal, and it's so hard for Sherlock to speak of emotions. Of what he hides. Quiet and quick. "You should avoid thinking of me as anything but human, Watson. I'm nothing better than human and my all accounts I wish I could say that was not so but it is. Imagine a human who could not turn off their mind." He swallows and leans back, looking away.
"Once you see the puzzle in things you can't stop. It either makes you a brilliant person or a dead person, often one and then the other."
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Date: 2012-12-09 09:45 pm (UTC)"Have I." - "I've." - "I disappoint you, Watson." He finally manages and looks toward her. "Like I disappointed Lestrade. Like I would disappoint Gregson; and I disappoint my Father. Do you know how many times I have actually seen my Father since boarding school?" His brows frown deeper. Here it comes, the crash. Where he can't hold anything in any longer. Where that desperate scramble for some feeling of hope takes over and he's gasping beneath the water. He might as well drown.
He seems to be speaking a little faster now. It's nerves, and it's all personal, and it's so hard for Sherlock to speak of emotions. Of what he hides. Quiet and quick. "You should avoid thinking of me as anything but human, Watson. I'm nothing better than human and my all accounts I wish I could say that was not so but it is. Imagine a human who could not turn off their mind." He swallows and leans back, looking away.
"Once you see the puzzle in things you can't stop. It either makes you a brilliant person or a dead person, often one and then the other."